My left leg sucks, no two ways about it. But last week, it started to suck worse, like a lot worse, like dragging a leg- shaped sack of flour that was also stuck with magnets to the metal ground. When changes like this happen, even to parts of me that are already badly broken, I get anxious and sad. I worry that this is the new normal. I worry that it will never get better again.
My good news is that my left leg is back to its usual version of suck instead of the new version of completely and terribly and awfully sucking. It’s still the major symptom that impacts my day, this leg that won’t cooperate. But at least it is not the ball and chain that crashed into my life for two days last week.
Gratitude is something that I try to muster every single day. I have so much to be grateful for. And today, I am with some irony declaring gratitude for “Pokey” – what I long ago started calling my renegade left leg. Thank you Pokey for coming back to your standard version of not-so-great. Thank you for not staying where you were last week.
Do I know why Pokey came back? I don’t. I don’t pretend understand why things happen sometimes in my neuropathy-plagued system. It may have been increased amounts of coffee in the morning that have given me quite a bit more energy (pursuant to the recent findings of our friends at the World Health Organization). It may have been the workouts that I have tried very hard not to miss for the last two weeks even though there was some heat that came into town and laid me out for a couple days. It may be that on the days that my left leg was bad I rested, other than the workouts. I really have no idea.
What I do know is that even though he sucks, I’m glad to have Pokey back for now. Ride like the wind Pokey! Or at the very least ride just a little bit longer. Please.